Our Farewell Celebration

I first read about farewell celebrations on a wonderful website www.stillbirthday.com. When I read about it I knew we would have one. We decided to go to one of our favorite spots, Morris Island lighthouse at the end of Folly Beach. It was a beautiful day. My parents and close friends of ours joined us. I read a letter I wrote to the babies and Dru read a couple of poems.

Ila released two flowers that floated away in the water towards the lighthouse. It was really beautiful and it honestly felt like full closure. Afterward, we played in the water and found starfish and seashells. We went to lunch and then Dru and I went and had a couples massage. It was just a beautiful day and a wonderful way to honor and celebrate our babies.
The letter to my babies:
To my dear sweet babies,

A child comes into a parent's life and teaches them many things. Parents are taught to slow down, to love, to appreciate what they have, to grow, to become better people. You have done all of these things for me. Both of you. You have done your jobs well sweet ones and I am forever proud of you. I feel I might not have been able to love any of your brothers and sisters quite as deeply had you not been a part of my life.
I hope you are happy, safe and warm. I hope you feel loved. I hope you know how much we wanted you. I hope you know that the arrival of your brother or sister in no way lessens our love for you. You are forever a part of us.
I wish I could hold you. I wish I could watch and help you grow. I wish I could watch you splash in mud puddles and push you on a swing. I wish I could watch your sister and you play and love together. I wish I could watch you discover and follow your dreams.
I feel you with me. I hope I will always. You are both amazing and I am forever thankful for you. Take care sweet ones. Until we meet again.

Love you til the stars turn cold,
Mommy


The beautiful poems Dru read:

"These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part."
~Unknown


"I know I'll see the sun shine bright
upon my baby's face....
When I finally get to heaven,
all my pain will be erased.

We'll soar the skies together,
as angels two by two.
We'll have a sweet reunion,
Your parents’ dream come true!"
~Unknown

“What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” -Helen Keller.

We are thankful that we have a beautiful place that will always make us think of you. We love you sweet babies.
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Hospital, Birth Center, or Homebirth

Ila was born in a hospital and although it was a beautiful experience, I know it could have been better. I feel like I spent a lot of my time saying no. No, I don't want an epidural, no, I don't want pitocin, no, don't take my baby yet, no, we don't want any shots, no, I don't want my baby to sleep in the nursery so I can get more sleep. Most of the nurses were very supported although they didn't understand why we wouldn't want to do some of these things. The worst part was being stuck in the hospital for thirty some hours after giving birth. I just know I could be in a more supportive, encouraging atmosphere.

We explored our options and thought about doing a homebirth. For one thing, we do not know where our home is going to be. Our house is on the market (shoot me) so we don't know if we will still be living here, an in between apartment, or a new house. Another thing is the price. Although a homebirth is the cheapest option, most insurances don't cover it. Our insurance isn't the best and I have had trouble figuring out exactly what they would cover. I have friends that had to pay for it out of their own pockets and their insurance companies have taken up to a year to reimburse them. I would love to be in the comfort of my own home and completely believe in the benefits of a homebirth, it's just not going to happen this time. Maybe someday.

The birth center is a wonderful option when you want a natural experience but homebirth is not an option. When I experienced my miscarriage, they were very supportive and I felt very comfortable there. With this pregnancy, they have been very supportive and understanding. They are very natural minded and there is not even an option for an epidural. What surprised me, were all of the natural pain relief options. The hospital has narcotics and an epidural. The birth center has many options that don't have side effects. One of these options is what really sold us on the birth center. The birth tub. It is a big beautiful tub with candles and soft lights all around it. They say the baby should enter the world in the same loving atmosphere in which it was conceived.

Dru can't wait to get into the tub and be more involved in the labor and delivery. He has the option to catch the baby and place him/her on my chest or he can be behind me and the first thing the baby sees are both of the people that love him/her more than anything. We'll see what happens in the moment.

Another great thing is that we can leave within hours after the birth. Dru won't have to sleep on some pathetic chair-turned-bed and Ila won't have to be away from us for days. We can all sleep in our bed at our home.

I know what you're thinking. What if something bad happens? For one thing, in a healthy, normal pregnancy the hospital is actually one of the most dangerous places you can go. When you go against nature and try to intervene constantly, you are way more likely to end up with a c-section or just a terrible, traumatic birth experience. The hospital is where people go that are sick. The birth center doesn't have emergency situations. They know well ahead of time if a trip to the hospital is needed and head over there. The hospital is only about a mile away and the hospital works with the birth center to make sure everything goes well. The midwife doesn't just drop you off and leave. She stays with you at the hospital for support.

I am very much looking forward to the birth of our sweet baby. I am not afraid of birth. It is a beautiful, amazing, empowering experience. I am so glad we found a place that is not only supportive of the experience we want but actually encourages it. Pin It

Embarrassing Moment- One of Many to Come

Embarrassing moments are bound to come up with a two year old that is very curious about the world around her and says EVERTHING that comes into her mind.

We were riding the bus one day and it was pretty busy. My two year old has been around lots of people that look different than her and her family and I never thought much about it. She was in a very big phase of finding something descriptive about a person to kind of “name” them. As people got on and off the bus, she would say hi or bye to them. She was yelling, “hi, brown people” and “bye, black people” and “look at the white people”. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable but didn't want to in some way tell her that what she was doing was wrong. No one seemed to notice and people were waving and smiling at her.

Eventually, she called one lady a yellow person and one lady a purple person. The “yellow” lady had blonde hair and the “purple” lady was wearing a purple shirt. She had been describing people's hair and clothes, not skin color!

So far, that is really the most embarrassing moment we have had although I know we have more to come. She does look at women sometimes and yells, “That Mommy has a baby in her belly.” So far she has been right but I am terrified that there is going to come a time when she is wrong. She has started to notice that people's bodies look different. She has pointed out that people are big or round but not to where anyone can hear her. I just try to explain that everybody looks different and that that is okay.

Anybody have any other really good, embarrassing stories with their children? Pin It