We recently discovered that our sweet boxer, Molson, has cancer. Because of the cancer's location and the fact that it is very aggressive, there is not much we can do about it. We are working with a holistic vet and giving him different supplements and herbs to help with inflammation and to keep him comfortable. He is showing no signs of discomfort yet besides being a little tired.
He has been a wonderful dog for the past eight years but especially for the past two and a half. He became very protective and never left my side when I was pregnant with Ila and then he welcomed her into our home. The poor thing has allowed her to pull his ears, ride him like a pony, dress him up for tea parties, and I'm sure a lot more that I'm not even aware of. He barks like a crazy dog every time someone comes near our home which makes me feel very safe, especially since my husband's job requires him to spend every third night away.
Ila loves him so much and calls him “my Molson”. She tells random strangers about him and is so proud. She has never experienced any type of loss and I am trying to learn how to approach this. I have no intention of lying to her or lessening the severity of it. I wish I could keep sadness from her always but life doesn't work that way. I want her to feel sadness without thinking it is wrong or just working on trying to fix it. I want her to know the sadness that she feels is okay and that we will go through this as a family and although she will always miss her pet, if she handles her feelings in a healthy way, the pain will lessen and she will feel happy again.
I don't want to tell her that he is sick, hurt or old. I don't want her to be afraid the next time Daddy gets sick, she gets hurt, or she thinks Mommy is old, that we will go away and never come back. I don't want her to be afraid that everyone she knows is going to die or be afraid that she is going to die herself. I don't want to tell her he went to sleep and isn't waking up. I don't want to tell her that he is leaving and isn't coming back. I don't want her to be afraid of going to sleep or leaving. I don't think I want to deal with it in a religious or spiritual way. I don't think she would understand “heaven” or “a better place”. I want to confuse her as little as possible. I don't want her to think he is hanging out somewhere else and might come back.
I think she is at a very difficult age for this, not that any age is easy. She is old enough to understand and notice that he is not around but too young to really grasp the concept. Another issue is that we are expecting a baby in the same time frame that the doctor has given Molson. I don't want her entire life to change at once or think that we made Molson leave because we needed room for baby.
Well, I guess I have an entire list of things I don't want to do, now I need to figure out what to do. I am going to do some research on the subject and then write another post for things I am going to do. Have you had to deal with this? What did you do? How did your children react? I am open to any suggestions. Pin It
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