The Way He Looks at Her

 I've seen that look before,
That's the way he looks at me.
Now I know for sure,
He's in love with her I see.

I don't know who could blame him,
She's a beauty in everyway.
I didn't know I'd feel like this,
Seeing him this way.

I hope she comes to know,
How special his love is,
All I see is happiness,
In those eyes of his.

That's the way he looks at me
Now that's the way he looks at her.

                                              I'm the luckiest girl in the whole wide world

Cause we're both in love
With our baby girl!

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How Do I Prepare My Daughter for the Loss of Her Pet?

We recently discovered that our sweet boxer, Molson, has cancer. Because of the cancer's location and the fact that it is very aggressive, there is not much we can do about it. We are working with a holistic vet and giving him different supplements and herbs to help with inflammation and to keep him comfortable. He is showing no signs of discomfort yet besides being a little tired.




He has been a wonderful dog for the past eight years but especially for the past two and a half. He became very protective and never left my side when I was pregnant with Ila and then he welcomed her into our home. The poor thing has allowed her to pull his ears, ride him like a pony, dress him up for tea parties, and I'm sure a lot more that I'm not even aware of. He barks like a crazy dog every time someone comes near our home which makes me feel very safe, especially since my husband's job requires him to spend every third night away.





Ila loves him so much and calls him “my Molson”. She tells random strangers about him and is so proud. She has never experienced any type of loss and I am trying to learn how to approach this. I have no intention of lying to her or lessening the severity of it. I wish I could keep sadness from her always but life doesn't work that way. I want her to feel sadness without thinking it is wrong or just working on trying to fix it. I want her to know the sadness that she feels is okay and that we will go through this as a family and although she will always miss her pet, if she handles her feelings in a healthy way, the pain will lessen and she will feel happy again.



I don't want to tell her that he is sick, hurt or old. I don't want her to be afraid the next time Daddy gets sick, she gets hurt, or she thinks Mommy is old, that we will go away and never come back. I don't want her to be afraid that everyone she knows is going to die or be afraid that she is going to die herself. I don't want to tell her he went to sleep and isn't waking up. I don't want to tell her that he is leaving and isn't coming back. I don't want her to be afraid of going to sleep or leaving. I don't think I want to deal with it in a religious or spiritual way. I don't think she would understand “heaven” or “a better place”. I want to confuse her as little as possible. I don't want her to think he is hanging out somewhere else and might come back.



I think she is at a very difficult age for this, not that any age is easy. She is old enough to understand and notice that he is not around but too young to really grasp the concept. Another issue is that we are expecting a baby in the same time frame that the doctor has given Molson. I don't want her entire life to change at once or think that we made Molson leave because we needed room for baby.



Well, I guess I have an entire list of things I don't want to do, now I need to figure out what to do. I am going to do some research on the subject and then write another post for things I am going to do. Have you had to deal with this? What did you do? How did your children react? I am open to any suggestions. Pin It

Sweet Babies Like You

(Inspired by the song "A Woman Like You" by Lee Brice)




My heels would see more nightlife.
We would have way more date nights.

We'd spend more time in Mexico.
Travel all over the globe.

We would get a lot more sleep.
And make love without having to sneak.

I would get to read more books.
Wouldn't get as many rolled eyed looks.

My bikini wouldn't reveal stretch marks.
Wouldn't know the name of all those parks.

Never would have heard of a Bumbo,
Boba, Boppy, or Diono.

I would enjoy more Margaritas
Saturdays with my senoritas.

I would get to pee alone.
Our house would be cleaner I know,

But everyday with just us two
We'd be praying for sweet babies like you

I do kind of miss my shoes,
But I love to follow your cues.

I never read that many books.
I can handle all the crazy looks.

I love carrying you in the Boba
And enjoy prenatal yoga.

Pretty proud of my stretch marks.
Love watching you play at the park.

Who needs sleep anyway?
I wouldn't trade a single day.

Everyday is something new.
Life's amazing with sweet babies like you.

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Embarrassing Moment- One of Many to Come

Embarrassing moments are bound to come up with a two year old that is very curious about the world around her and says EVERTHING that comes into her mind.

We were riding the bus one day and it was pretty busy. My two year old has been around lots of people that look different than her and her family and I never thought much about it. She was in a very big phase of finding something descriptive about a person to kind of “name” them. As people got on and off the bus, she would say hi or bye to them. She was yelling, “hi, brown people” and “bye, black people” and “look at the white people”. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable but didn't want to in some way tell her that what she was doing was wrong. No one seemed to notice and people were waving and smiling at her.

Eventually, she called one lady a yellow person and one lady a purple person. The “yellow” lady had blonde hair and the “purple” lady was wearing a purple shirt. She had been describing people's hair and clothes, not skin color!

So far, that is really the most embarrassing moment we have had although I know we have more to come. She does look at women sometimes and yells, “That Mommy has a baby in her belly.” So far she has been right but I am terrified that there is going to come a time when she is wrong. She has started to notice that people's bodies look different. She has pointed out that people are big or round but not to where anyone can hear her. I just try to explain that everybody looks different and that that is okay.

Anybody have any other really good, embarrassing stories with their children? Pin It

The Storm

I awake in the dark of night.
Am I alone? I don’t feel right.
I take a deep breath and catch the sweet scent
Of both him and her which was my intent.
I know I am safe but some comfort won’t hurt.
I stir and I whimper and reach for her shirt.
She wraps me up and pulls me in close.
This is where I like to be most.
I take a gulp and get a taste of
All I wanted, my mother’s love.
And then I feel a strong, warm hand
Placed on my back, right on demand.
Daddy’s here, too, and we’re together and warm
Drifting back to sleep, safe from the storm. Pin It

Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

I have always had an irrational fear of being sexually assaulted. I assume there is a serial rapist hiding around every corner, in every bush, and down every ally. Once I had a daughter, my fear turned to her being sexually assaulted. One in four girls are sexually abused before the age of 18. For boys, it's one is six. That is terrifying. I assume there are sick pedophiles at the park, the store, the beach just waiting for me to turn my back for a moment. While this is occasionally true, 90% of child sexual abuse happens with someone the child has a trusting relationship with. Alright, now I'm scared to death. I feel extremely helpless. It's easy to tell my daughter not to talk to strangers and to not get into a white van with a creepy guy offering candy. How am I supposed to protect her from someone she trusts?

Thankfully, there are lots of things you can do to protect your children from sexual abuse, but you are probably doing things that can actually put them in harms way. I was. There are a few things that have really stuck out to me. One is to define the role of the adults your child is around and let your child know what that adult's responsibilities are. This is the example by Parents for Megan's Law:

Your 7-year-old child plays baseball. You can define the role of the coach by first evaluating the responsibilities within the role of the coach by first evaluating the responsibilities within the role he assumes in your child's life. He teaches your child how to field the ball, how to throw and how to be a good sport. The baseball coach should not be picking up and dropping off your child alone for baseball practice because it blurs the boundary.

This is hard. I don't think the coach is a sexual predator or I wouldn't let my child around him, but this has nothing to do with whether or not this coach is planning to abuse your child. This is teaching your child that there are boundaries and that they should not be crossed. If you allow your child to be alone with this coach, your child could become confused about what role he plays and where the boundary is. Then if the coach, or anyone your child trusts, takes him to his home alone, asks him to remove clothing, or do anything inappropriate, your child might not know where the boundary is. By clearly defining it early on, you can make sure it never gets to that point.

I used to be afraid I would hurt someone's feelings or be offensive. Guess what? I would rather offend an innocent person than allow my child to be harmed. It's not about trust either. It's not about living in fear that every person you know wants to harm your child. Trust everyone with your child, but trust them only within the limits and boundaries of the responsibilities you have defined in the role they play in your child’s life.-Parent's for Megan's Law.

There are a few rules on the website that really stood out to me. One of them is that children should be able to name their body parts. We have always talked about our body parts using proper terminology. No cutesy names. We have vulvas and boys have a penis. As she gets older, she will learn each part of her vulva including labia, clitoris, and vagina.

Another rule is the check first rule. We have told grandparents that while they are watching our daughter, if she says she needs to check with us first, CALL US! I don't care what time it is or where I am. I don't care if she says she needs to call us to make sure it's alright she has broccoli for dinner. If she wants to check with us, I will gladly let her know if it is alright or not. I will not tell her that it is obviously alright and that if grandma says it's alright that it is.

One of the big rules for me is the no secret rule. We have decided that our house is a no lies house. We do not tell lies about anything to anyone. (I have a post coming up about that later.) We do not keep secrets. Children can't tell the difference between a “good” (I don't think there are any) secret and a bad secret. If you want to surprise someone, don't let your child in on the surprise until the last minute. I know it can be fun for parents and grandparents to have little secrets. Grandma might give her grandchild ice cream for breakfast and declare it “our little secret”. This is not okay. Asking a child to keep a secret from anyone but especially their parents is detrimental. If it is something you don't think the parents would approve of, don't do it in the first place. If it is something you don't think the parents will care about, why are you trying to keep it from them?

Children must trust their inner voice, especially that yucky feeling. I never make my daughter go near anyone she feels uncomfortable around. This can be really hard when she hasn't seen her family for months and great-grandma just gave her an amazing gift. Everyone expects her to run over and give her a big hug and kiss. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't. I never make her or bribe her. I never imply that the gift deserves a hug. She usually comes around and everyone gets a big hug. Our family is not lacking in affection from our daughter. She knows that if she doesn't want to be touched by somebody, that she shouldn't be. Let your children listen and trust their inner voice, and you do the same.

I encourage you to go to this website where you can learn more about the rules I wrote about and more. Protect you child. http://www.parentsformeganslaw.org/public/prevention_childSexualAbuse.html

Of course, even if you do everything you can, sexual abuse can still occur. There are many signs of sexual abuse and actions to take. Darkness to Light is an amazing organization that has a lot of good information on preventing sexual abuse and also signs to look for and actions to take if you suspect abuse. There is a seven steps program you can download. Prevent Child Sexual Abuse - Darkness to Light

Lastly, watch out for all children. Look for signs in other children. Chances are, you know a child that is being sexually abused. Make sure to clearly define your role in a child's life and don't blur that boundary. You know you are not going to harm the child but by blurring the boundaries, you might confuse the child. Trust your instincts and encourage others to do the same.

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