This pregnancy has been hard on me to say the least. I was very sick for a long time. I still am sometimes. I get bad headaches on a regular basis. While miscarrying the twin, I had terrible cramps and pains and bled for weeks and weeks. I am just starting to get some energy back so I feel like I've missed out on a lot of life the past few months. My hormones are crazy and I have been an emotional wreck. I feel like I'm always on edge. I am trying my very best to enjoy this pregnancy but it feels more like a chore that needs to be over with than a beautiful experience.
With the miscarriages this pregnancy hardly feels real. Well, the pregnancy feels very real but the fact that there is a baby doesn't feel real. Maybe I've kept from bonding because I was too scared to fall in love and then lose it again.
My pregnancy with Ila was pretty rough but I had no problems bonding with her. I would talk to her and dream about her. I just couldn't wait to meet her. I would have a hand on my belly most of the day and hardly a moment would go by that I wouldn't think about her. I know I have her right in front of me and she keeps me very busy but I still feel like I need to have more of a bond with this baby. I am very aware that I am pregnant at all times I just don't think about the baby as much as I would like. So I am going to try a few things to make sure our bond grows.
I am going to talk to the baby everyday. I am just going to narrate what I'm doing to the baby so he/she knows what's going on out here. When I feel the baby move, I'm going to tell him/her that I love to feel those little kicks. I'm going to tell the baby goodnight every night the same way I tell Ila, by going over our day and saying our favorite parts and then saying I love him/her and I hope he/she sleeps well. I am going to do more prenatal yoga. I'm going to encourage Ila to bond with the baby more by talking, singing, and making gifts for the baby. I'm going to write the baby letters. I used to write Ila letters when I was pregnant. I am going to encourage Dru to bond more with the baby. He used to read to Ila every night when she was in my belly. We already read to Ila every night we'll just have to focus on the baby, too. Lastly, I'm going to take time to just sit and be with the baby. I'll dream about the future and imagine kissing little toes and smelling that sweet baby smell.
We have an ultrasound coming up and I'm sure that will help. Also, as the baby gets bigger and the kicks get stronger, I'm sure it will be easier to bond. I am hoping taking time to do these things will help me feel a strong, loving bond that will grow throughout our lives.
How did you bond with your baby? Do you have anymore ideas?
Happened upon your blog on Pinterest.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your previous loss and perhaps this plays a part in your feelings.
But perhaps it's because you already have one child and are just too busy. I can say that I felt out of touch with my second pregnancy. I felt HORRIBLE throughout the whole 9 months, was anxious about delivery. I just wanted it over with. I was excited for the end result, but the in-between were just days. With either pregnancy, neither my husband nor I read to the baby or really talked to them, but for my daughter (#2) in particular.
I wouldn't stress yourself over it, just let things happen naturally. I didn't notice how far along you are, but perhaps if the baby gets more active, you will connect more. Even if it's just you saying "stop moving around so much in there so I can get some sleep"
Again...I can only stress how important it is to not worry about it. Your bonding will come afterwards. For right now, focus on your life as the 3 of you and spending time with your daughter, because baby will change that...for better or worse, the dynamics just change!
You can find me at my blog where I try and write about my "adventures in everyday life", with myself, my husband and 2 kids
http://amybickmore.blogspot.ca/